I’ve never been fond of A-rach-nids
Though some are not scary at all.
But when I am thinking ’bout spiders
There’s one I will always recall.
It isn’t the Funnel Web Spider
Or Huntsman when e’er it comes near
It isn’t the Trapdoor or White Tail
Or Daddy Long Legs that I fear.
There’s only one spider sends tremors
Down through me from dusk until dawn
I know for a fact that it’s stalked me
Right from the first day it was born.
The first time I saw it was Monday
Then Tuesday I saw it again
And then as that week kept progressing
I saw it again and again.
You may think my fear is unfounded,
You think I should man-up and face
This fear that prevents me from sleeping
And simply my manhood embrace?
Well try to imagine my horror
When down on the toilet I sat
And looked at the water below me
And saw, there among what I’d shat.
‘Twas there in the bowl near the water
No more than an inch from the edge
A fat Latrodectus hasselti
Was planning to leap at my “wedge”!
I hope you don’t brand me a coward
I screamed as I ran out of there
And fell as I tripped on my trousers
Bare butt sticking up in the air.
That fat Latrodectus hasselti
That led to my long-lasting shame
Ain’t really a hoary old ogre
But simply a Redback by name.
© Marty Langenberg 2019
